Start Christopher titus dating

Christopher titus dating

You can learn stuff from a father as a son that you can NEVER learn from mom. Like never challenge dad to a fistfight.*Audience chuckles and Titus mimics hesitantly* Ha ha ha ha ha…Cause fighting dad’s not a fight. ”We got louder and louder, my step mom jumped between us:“HEY! And you have those moments of clarity when you’re screwing up your life? Dad, he gets up.“COME ON KIDS IT’S MORNIN’ LET’S GO WATER SKIING WOO HOO!! ”*Anti-Dad pretends to fly off heroically to stage right*“Hey dad, I graduated high school.”“Graduated high school, huh, well you didn’t come close to valedictorian, did ya loser? *swinging his arms all over the place, scale out of whack*Thanksgiving kicked ass. Thanksgiving, man, she gave everybody that turkey high. Get done, sitting in front of the TV.“This is gonna be a great game! Little pilgrim cookies with amaretto chocolate suits and hats. Beautiful, but more voices in her head than the Wu Tang Clan. Yeah, they take you out of the husband wish book at that point.

The stage is set up with a single wooden chair in the center with the backdrop of what looks like the inside of Titus’ dilapidated childhood home. *pretends to hold a beer with his arm around a child*When I got sick around him as a kid growin’ up, he’d always warm me up a shot of 100 proof whiskey. Catch a serial killer, get his family on television. That boy always said hi to me though.”So if you guys got a neighbor bein’ real cool, always sayin’ hi, take him out. Now I ended up on the other side of the car, my dad couldn’t see me but he came running out of the house.“CHRIS!! ”And I thought, you know, I should probably tell him I’m okay. And we are hiiiiiiigh.*audience laughs, but Titus reiterates it was not funny how high they were*HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGH…I can no longer hold my body upright HIIIIIIIIIIIGH. I used to think my dad got divorced ‘cause he wanted new furniture.

Uh look man,” *pretending to be his jive turkey friend, Titus turns around and yells “Shut up I’m tellin’ him to the rest of the imaginary possy*“Uh look man, we talked about it. I’m a seventeen year-old burned up homeless boy with new Nikes wearing an alligator shirt, okay.”So I go in, and the doctor’s pissed off.

I’m not the first dumbass teenager he’s ever met in his life.

Norman Rockwell captured the zeitgeist of twentieth century American culture better than any other artist of the time period. Yeah cause I knew they’d get her ass out of the house. Chase a designer label like a fat man guy after a Velour jogging suit. And I’m just standin’ there, heart poundin’ with fear. So I summoned my manhood from bottom to top and I screamed like a little girl, “I’M CALLIN’ THE COPS! Now by the way she was a five foot, 100 pound Jewish girl and I still haven’t forgiven the Jewish people. I’d like you to meet your new possible mommy.”I tell my dad what happened, he said:“Screw it!