Start Dating multiple women to find love book

Dating multiple women to find love book

Why do women feel they should date only one man at a time? When a man showed a genuine interest in me, I would stop dating other men for one BIG reason: I lacked the confidence to juggle several men at once because I doubted my self-worth.

I speculated that the women writing to me were subject to some kind of wishful thinking or tunnel-vision, by which they focused only on the good in their boyfriend rather than the advantages of other men. A woman couldn't wishfully think herself into a degree of love so strong that she would feel compelled to write me for help.

I eventually realized that these women were being genuine, and I was forced to admit that there was a uniquely feminine mechanism at work.

From an evolutionary biology standpoint, this makes good sense: the man who propagates his genes successfully does not need months to judge the reproductive potential of his mate, or her ability to nurture and raise children; he can see these things from physical cues, as well has her energy, moods, and her instinct to take care of him.

But the woman who propagates her genes is one who accurately judges whether the man with whom she mates is not only strong, but also stable - that is, capable of protecting and providing for her children until they are grown.

So, in general, a man can evaluate a woman quite quickly. Many of a woman's triggers for romantic love are less immediate: In other words, while a man judges his woman primarily in relation to himself, which he does quite quickly, a woman evaluates her man on how he relates to the outside world, and this takes longer.

In addition, and perhaps more importantly, a woman needs to gauge her man's reliability, and this demands time.

Before long I started getting attached and soon I found myself falling for him.

We spent a lot of time together, and by three months I was in love.

And if this is something you can't live without, you'd do better to break up with him now than to become more emotionally or sexually invested before breaking up with him later.

------------------------------------- If you liked this post, you'll definitely like my book, Beyond the Breakup, which explains everything you need to know about dealing with you ex: what he's thinking, what is motivating him to stay friends with you, how to maximize your chances of getting him back - and if that doesn't happen, how to focus on your future.

Also, I am not saying that this is the only way women fall in love, or the most common.