Start Rules for dating my gaughter

Rules for dating my gaughter

Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you’d better be delivering a package, because you’re sure not picking anything up. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck.

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Have your child sign i MOM’s Cell Phone Contract.] 3. Well, just know that I’ve taught my son to look for the kind of girl who keeps more hidden than seen. Sure my son is fun, but he’s also a student, and in our house; school comes before fun. No, I won’t hide in the backseat or stalk you when you’re with my son, but he and I have an agreement that he checks in often with home, and let’s me know where he is and where he’s going.

And, the bonus is that you’ll get on my good side, too. That means he won’t be taking you to the mall, the movies or out to dinner on a school night. Also, secret meetings and clandestine adventures will be discovered—I have my ways!

I will ask you a lot of questions and make sure you know that I know how special my son is. No, I’m not going to be nosey, rude or obsessive about it But, if my son’s phone just happens to be laying on the table, and I see he’s gotten a text, I might take a look at it.

Not really, but I will try to figure out what kind of girl you are, before you spend time with my son.

Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object.

However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka – zipped up to her throat. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi.

Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home.

If you have a comment you would like for the author to see, please contact him via his blog, or email me directly at christine ATfromdatestodiapers DOTcom and I’ll be sure to pass it along to Michael.